Soft Shell Crab

Soft shell crab sandwich
Try it; it's so good.

I worry about the shell.

Don't. The crunch of the bread masks the
Deep fried crispiness of the
Soft shell... once you bite into it
You won't notice it like identity theft.

Love bites like this...
Just let your canines cut through the
Surface, squish into the body
Scorched beyond recognition.

Imagine the mother of this soft shell crab
At the crime scene shrieking like a lobster
Dropped alive into a pot of boiling water,
"My baby! What happened to my baby!?"

"M'am we are sorry to report that your child
Volunteered to be a hero so some human's
Taste buds could triumphantly report they had
Consumed your soft shelled son."

"My baby, my baby - AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
"WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!"

"M'am we believe your son was involved in
Some questionable activities on a mission to
Take down unsuspecting humans by poisoning them via
His suicidal death served up on a grilled with butter
French roll."

Thinking about it makes me sick in the stomach
Kind of like how I felt when one of my ex-boyfriends
Dumped me during a conference I was attending...
Like I'm reliving the squish of the guts coming out
When I cut the sandwich in half...

It was all slimy, green, pus-E and gross.
There was nothing heroic about this poor
Creature sacrificing itself for my non
Enjoyment.

I convinced myself I could enjoy it...
That it tasted good after the shock of the
First five bites wore off and I no longer
Thought - I just methodically submitted to
Masticating the corpse of a helpless...
Heroic
Cock roach of the sea
On a mission.

It wasn't like I was jumping off a cliff,
But that is certainly how my stomach felt
A few hours after ingesting this delicacy
Wrapped delicately between the warm,
Crisp, buttery halves of a french roll.

Somepoorforlorn soft shell crab mother
Is mourning her loss
I too am mourning my lack of losing the remains of her
Son into the toilet bowl.

I can't even think of what I did
Without getting nauseous...
Kind of like when I went out with
him... Air-Nesto...
Love bites like this.