2006 JLR: Song 4 Christ

Do I stay and fight?

Do I throw up my hands?

If I told you why,

would you understand?

 

Everything in me wants to quit,

Wants to run and hide, but

You said You would NEVER leave my side...

 

Where are You?

 

You're in the sun, You're in the rain.

You feel my sorrow, You feel my pain...

You took it ALL so I could be

Close to You for Eternity.

Thank You

Whimpering like a puppy for your touch,

Time, tenderness...It seems too much to

Wait so long... please don't dissipate,

3, almost 4 years, into nothing...

 

Your compassion, forgiveness and love

Are glimpses of God's mercy and grace

Your face shining with gratitude even

Though I can be deplorable...

You steer me back into the right direction -

Arms wide open, crown of thorns,

Blood covering all, even my sores -

The reminders of past indiscretions

Discretely hidden under the wings of

His love... and you too, love me through

It all because of Him.

 

I am your Gomer.

You, my Hosea... I don't want to be

Anything like her, but my heart betrays

Me - and deceives... it's true - Jeremiah

Reminds and again you fend for me and

Continue to even after I appear not to

Believe... help me overcome my unbelief...

And you do... again and again and again...

Thank you.

Love Foreigner

"I wanna know what love is.
I want you to show me.
I wanna feel what love is.
I know you can show me."

Foreigner knew. I think you
Do too.

"In my life there's been heartache and pain;
I don't know if I can face it again."

This sentiment too... I just don't
Want to be blue in my heart or mind...
I know this to be true of you too...

"Can't stop now, we've traveled so far to
Change these lonely hearts..."

Let's stay the course of hearts desire to
See it bloom into the ultimate power of
God's design for two becoming one.

I love you... I'm scared of my love.
I know it's returned - I'm  just fearful of
This addictive drug that's hard to kick
Once hooked by it's enslaving chemicals...
Let's not quit... each other!

Frictive Togetherness

Sun soaked faces looking to laugh
At the days to come in the sun
Searching for fun in the challenges of
Being together and never having been
In this situation of significant otherness
So strange the embrace, the longing that
Waxes and wanes because of wondering
If it should be forever... alone, together...
Apart each day... one at a time...
HOW do we keep changing to adapt to
Each others' independence? Fending for
Self for so long brings with it the pain of
Criticalness from the control of being alone
With individual idiosyncracies that make
No one but self crazy so it's okay...
Come on in to my "sins" of self-presevation
Let's preserve...reserve some time for
One another alone in the strong arms of
Embracing - embrace the friction -- the
Sparks will keep each other warm from the
Excitement of what's next...?

Appearances

Behind vertical bars boys hide the
Horizontal orange stripes of the
Jumpsuit unsuited for the crimes of
Being a youngster bored outta their
Gourd desperately searching for something
Fulfilling under the mattress, couch cushions -
Slashing blade doing most of the work,
Stuffing flying unstuffing the feelings of
Abandonment, loneliness, inferiority,
Invincibility found behind the steel cutting
Edge and bars unleashing weeping and wails
Echoing off of broken homes, hearts and
Bones in the name of getting ahead for the
Appearance of being cool.

Sapio-Sexual Lurve

Love and lust the same in that
They are both 4 letter words
Two totally different approaches to
The same person... and yet we
LOVE each others' minds and
Intelligence - that's what counts
That's the draw... making every
Second count toward whether or
Not it will count the steps down the
Aisle to the altar - not caring to travel
Anywhere - maybe not even there?
I don't know if I can handle being
Held to one place for the rest of my
Life - what's left of it? I don't know.
Is it meant to be with him?
I know I don't want to be alone or
Even without him... but with him
Forever? One bed, one head, one
Heart - two different beating drums to
March to... and still the draw.

It's lurve.

Perspective

Perspective - look at this way!
No, look at it this way...
Or this... it doesn't matter
As long as you're looking...

For a different way to
Pray... play... say
Something that isn't
Ugly but encouraging to
The soul and uplifting.

Perspective... a different one...
Often has a positive effect!

Bee's Knees

Feelings flee
Faster than a bee in a
Blinding rage falling from
Its beehive, once upon a time,
High up in a tree.

Cravings come too and
Consume mind and body
Overing stepping boundaries
Running amuck creating guilt that
Cripples the feelings into
Submission.

Heart still beats for him
Frightened into a cave of
Fear from longing...
Whimpering in the corner of
Darkness, shrouding natural
Instincts made to make us
Cower from guilt and insecurity.

These feelings flee
Faster than a bee in a
Drunken rage flying away from
Its last flower conquered and
Covered in pollen.

Really I Do

I realized what I realized is that
Realization is realizing that
Which is actually actualized.

Actually it is strange to have
This kind of realization.

I really hope it helps with
Self-Actualization/Realization
Really I do.

Shoo-Do-Aaaaaah!

Boo-doo-beep-boo-doo
Doooo... how should you
Blow a tune through the
Shoo-doo-woop-woop
Da-da-daaaaaaa?
Sounding like bee-dee-bee
Deee-la-la-la-la-la-aa-aah-
Aaaaaah! Doot! doot! doot!
Pa-da-pa-pa-ha-ha-haaa!
Skoo-dee-skoo-oo-oo-ah-ah
Solitude in the sounds of
Soothing solitary confinement
Confined to the rhythms of life
Breathed in through and out of the
Tunes created to cradle and rock
You to sleep in the crease of the
Curve of the arms of love
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Beginning Another Beginning

So close, but so far away from the
End of the beginning of another
Beginning.

Pick your poison - is it lust
Posing as passion in the pursuit of
Possibilities wrapped in the prickly
Pear pashmena of pleasure?

Could it be just me confounded by the
Cacophonous creatures created from
Confronting clamorous suitors suited up to
Carry away cartfuls of my curvaceousness?

Keep clear appear to get it going in the
Right direction... beginning everyday
Over and over with the happy ending in mind.

Luekoplakia

Blue waters rising in the veins
Pulsating life throughout the
Periphery of the arteries getting
Clogged, bogged down by
Annoyances... fish stuck in the
Tubes that transport the much
Needed breath of cleansing.

Shut up! Stop speaking and
Puking out your know-it-all-ness!
Your neediness are the reeds that
Suffocate the plankton needed to
Nourish others.... you're soooo
Aggravating with that selfishness
Sucking dry the creativity to thrive
In this uprising of your mutinous
Tidal wave of a tsunami of your
Loquacious luekoplakia verbage.

Losing Interest

I am scared to care so
Is he... I'm bored... I think...
Should I shrink back and
Quit on this "love"? Is this
That... just that... maybe,
Maybe not... why am I
Sooooo negative about
Everything on the planet of
My life including the love
I have been longing and
Pining and primping for
For sooooooo long?

I can't seem to maintain
Anything very long before
I lose interest... isn't that
Interesting since I can't seem to
Lose interest in losing an interest
In love?

Press Sure in Him

Clampin' down on the crown
Feels a mess as it press... says...
On the temple of doom and gloom
Make a boom boom boom in the
Vena cava chamber clambering for
Attention only reserved for idols
More importantly God
He knows all and sees all and
Reserves no reservations for
His great love for me!

Shamrock Shakes

Through a straw
Suck it up
Freeze it up
Stirred in a cup
Minty green
Oh so mean to the
Taste buds
Whipped cream
Cherry
Once a year
A leprechauny cheer!

Mason Jar Goblet

It's clearly clear and appears to be
Perched upon a candlestick
Hot glued in place without as much as
A trace of classiness to witness the
Beer poured in and running down
Our chins as we laugh and guffaw
About the silliness of the awesomeness of
Drinking out of Mason jar goblets through
Bendy straws... slack jawed and inebriated
We are tanked - much like skunks stinky
To boot - raise our hilly billy chalices
Heavenward in a toast to celebrate the most
Outlandish dish raised to our gargly gullets!

The Ides

The Ides of March ride
High on the tide of emotion
Running through the heart and
Mind - causing fatigue from the
Cardiac arrest from the fear of
Failing - shutting down the chamber
Pumping the love... blood through the
Arteries just long enough to survive the
Pinch and pain from confrontation.
Do I want an unrealistic love?
Am I being perfectionistic and
Castrating? Cutting off the love by
Wanting a deeper truth and fearlessness?

It's going to kill me - I see Julius Cesar and
I can relate, "Et tu Brute? Et tu?" Slain by the
Blade piercing and flambeing the engine
Running my whole person - shutting down as
A preemptive strike? Is that best - or just
Another test I keep failing - mortally wounding
The only love I may ever know?

Breathing Fits Like a Glove

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Let it out, bring it in, let it out,
Bring it in for this is the time to
Breathe goodness into existence
This is the time to be free
This is the time to be grateful for
The love, forgiveness and
Needs met in his laughter, in his love,
In his fears shared, intermingled with
Your insecurities securely guarded with
Hugs, kisses and the drug of love's
Intoxication found in and around the
Glove of him fitting just right in
His eyes and mine.

This Too Far Too Few Fear

All of these seem to have an air of
Fear, failure, fright, anger, bitterness,
Rage that I'm supposed to be rid of...
This is where I dispense it - sometimes to
Return to it, not usually... and dispense
Without too much thought really -
Not considering whose eyes may light
Upon my genius... ingeniously spewed
Forth - seeming not too original of thought
Or idea - because, really are there any?
I like how others' are able to manipulate
Words upon the page to create great
Images of monsoon swept love nests
Where star-crossed lovers feasted upon
Love's banquet or how horses snorting and
Pounding and unearthing parts of the ground where
Their hooves paw, fall and dig in before bounding forward
With abandon leaping to the next big thing in the
Form of a steeplechase - chasing the fox with
"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin'
All the time," for someone to notice and
Care and cry with in their arms forever fearlessly.

Daylight Savings

An hour lost on what -
Sleep where the dreams go to
Meet with stressfulness to the point
Of heart-attacking?

We get an hour more of light
Day light being saved and what
Perchance does it save us?
A little more time to fry.

I have tried and tried to be
Understanding - but I don't because
We don't harvest anything anymore, but
The occasional bumper crop

Bumping around in the light of day, so
We can say, "We have another hour of light,
So let's the make the most of it and
Get some work done."

Relax: No Lye... Lies

Relaxin' the hair - relaxing
While awaiting his say,
Saying, "I love you."
Routinely routined - much
Like a broken record skipping
Its etched in vinyl lines - can
These just be lines - rehearsed
In the mirror in order to see if
They are delivered effectively?
Their effect delivers the desired
Effect - so relax, like her hair
Separated at the scalp so the
New growth can be smoothed with the
No lye - no lies uttered because
It's true - he loves you - even
If not smooth or relaxed.

Maybe Baby

Pushing it out -
Out of shape -
Out of time to
Push one out.

Her body is
Perfectly perfect
After the aftermath of
Life issuing forth.

She's young - just 16.
You're old...older... just 40.
She could be your daughter
Having had your grandson...

Not happening - maybe never...
Maybe... a baby... purchased
Not pushed - picked out of
Discarded choices to choose to love.

Practicin'

Don't use me... I'm not a doormat
Nor am I a practice mat either...

Pucker up buttercup - make a
Perfect pout - stick them out
Await the bounce of lips off
Your face where your lips grace
His face - no guilt - don't celebrate
That which is good - NO! GREAT!

Smile at the feelings felt - they are gifts
Gratefully shared between two hearts -
Lips locked - beating as one.

Forty: Days & Nights

I can't believe it's here...
Hear the clock striking?
Forty times the candles flicker -
Forty times the hands swoop
Round the face - marking another
Year spent wondering,
"What's next? What's to come?"
Blessings abounded found in
God's promises of love in Him and
In him - nightly chats, prayers and
Funnies shared - can't wait to see
Him in Heaven - heavenly hugs
Tug at my heart strings for the
Distance that separates and grinds
My mind to halting to a screech
When I count down the days till
We embrace in real time not over
Fiber optics - kissing too - at the
Door where our hearts beat as one
Yet again - here, not in Nebraska.

Bobby Bautista

"I wuv u!" written on the left palm of
An 8 year-old's hand. On the top of that hand a
Pen inked dot almost the size of a dime with
"PUSH" scrawled in - "Hey, Bobby..."
Hand presented - pleading in her eyes,
He pushes it just as she decides to smile
Widely - green eyes having told the story of
Her crush - as he reads the sentiments and
Realizes the crush he crushes with a flick of
His tongue and a groan of disapproval.
Orangey brown eyes, chocolatey skin,
Black spiky hair - devious grin -
She can't stop "wuv"ing him
'Till she sees him as a whim.

Poetic Code

Almost there - on track - tired
Brain fuzzy from straining to
Generate genius in a bottle
Lightning striking through
My head - that said, here it goes
Again an idea generated in
Binary code's 1's and 0's
Creating a Matrix of ideas
Waiting to be free from the
HTMLness of its storage.

Judy Blume-in'

Center stage - find your light - bask in it
For now is the time, now is your moment
Revel in it - reveal what's under the mask
Shine bright - don't hide it - that's how
You were made - open your mouth -
Let it out - it will draw others in to the
Plan of Salvation awaiting Heaven's call -
Are you there, God? It's me Margaret...
Wanting to be a Wifey... Forever... but
Trapped in Blubber and fearing being
Jammed into a plot line incapable of
Resolving these issues that confuse and
Frighten even though they seem too
Good to be true - He loves me...
I love me not in this costume -
Unflattering - tied in knots in my stomach
Forgotten lines, standing in the wings,
Before I take the stage - standing center
Jaw dropped - no sounds issuing forth -
I love you - I love you, too.
Thee end.

Sunbathing

Toes twinkling in the tide
Rushing back to the source
Washing away the clay footedness of
Fear - rip tiding its way through
Seaweed, sand, shells - sharks
Maybe feeding on muscles
Atrophied on the shore of hope
Lounging on a towel slathered
In sunscreen screening the UVB
Rays of life outward, upward
Back into the stratosphere of
Humanity.

Pit Shaving

Arm pit hairs stand at attention
Saluting the air that whips them
Into submission - they will soon
Be gone down the drain, bathed
in the warmth of detachment
Sliced 3 ways through fluffiness
Dispensed like a hiss from a
Can shaken not stirred for
Smooth baby butt softness
Hands go for warmth

Eye Boogers

Blink, blink, blink - draw them in with

Your eye lashes flashin' with spider web

Stickiness - stuck strugglin' to get out of

Your eye trap - one tear, two, falling

Out of the corner of the duct releasing the

Grasp the influence batting has upon the

Senses - sensing release they flee

Smeared with the goo of devotion.

Shaw's

A week before the big 4-oh and
OH, what a glorious sight to walk in
Upon a beautifully set table:
3 pink roses stand erect -
Silverware to wear us out
Figuring which to use -
What order do we go in?
Outside in or inside out?
Just don't use your hands -
Until the lobster comes at you and
All you have is a cracker that
Just about cracks your hands -
Your man he sure can do it,
Part of his master plan -
It ensures that I can view him as
Thee only man in my life -
who can save the day of
My birth 7-days in advance.
Swimming in drawn butter -
He draws me into his side -
Whispers sweet nothings and
Then dessert shows up and
Chides, "Can you blown out
Your candle? I spared you all of them!"
So make a wish and try to extinguish the
Desire in your mind to turn back the
Time table - this table is set just fine.