How Could I 4 Get?

You turn my face to pizza.
You make my hair freak out.
You make me cry at Hallmark cards, and
often I will sit around and pout.
Sometimes I feel my uterus is
Housing a boa constrictor that is
Trying to kill me from the inside out -
Because of you! How could I 4 get YOU?

Remember when I was 12 and you
Ignored my rotary phone calls for your arrival after
Reading, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."
Then you showed up when I was 14 at ballet class -
That was not funny or cute even with a tutu on!

Now 100 years later and you're still announcing
Your imminent arrival with the presence of
A crying fit or your friend the zit -
Yeah, I know crude -much like you!
"Get used to it," we scream at each other.
It's going to be like this until P.M.S. is a
Personal summer reality.

Post Menopause Syndrome will be the only way to
Rid you of your heinous ways - so, really,
How could I forget?