Itching

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!
I need to be still.
I can't get used to it.
I don't know how to
Trust and wait.
I often attack and withdraw
After I've been too aggressive.

Sometimes that's needed.
Most times it's not.

Who am I letting down not
Doing something?
I haven't anyone to provide for -
So I feel the need to provide for
Everyone I empathize with and
Lose myself in order to lose the
Feeling of incompleteness in
Not having a significant other or
Children I have birthed -

I raise children, other people's, and
Friends who need nurturing -
I need some too, but I don't know
How to be still, be patient and receive it...

Because it itches like an allergic reaction.