Shedding tears and
Wishfully fears -
Why do I feel so
Cursed at love or
Being in it... my
Grandma did it.
My mom, too!
One seemed successful
The other not so much and
Yet, the "other" persevered.
Can I? Should I?
Am I just being a fool?
I push and I pull and I wish
For my own love story and
It only seems like a
Nightmare!
It's more work and
Heartbreak/ache than
I thought and then I
Look around me and see
So many successful at
Yet another thing I keep
Seeming to fail or mess up!
I know it's not just me,
It takes two to make this work -
He says he loves me and
Maybe he does in his own way,
But it doesn't translate to
My page or stage of reality and
I'm afraid I am on cruise-control
To a self-fulfilling prophecy of
Failure... I don't want to fail,
Nor flail anymore - I want and
Want, but keep thinking it's
Going to elude me!
It is such a battle. From one who has loved much & failed much at love, I say to you: each stage of love, all the battles that come with it, are part of the journey. Our own personal journey. I believe when we can detach from the things of love that strangle our brains and simply allow those things to be what they are, simple, beautiful, complex areas of our own hearts are revealed.
ReplyDeleteYou are are an amazing woman carrying an amazing heart. Breathe baby breathe.....
Sending you much love,
H